The Silence
by Yzba
Summary: John and Cam didn’t meet for the first time on Atlantis. And Cam is not happy with John. But then, John can be an idiot.


SGA/SG-1 Fic: The Silence

Pairing: if you squint just a little bit, pre-slash of the John/Cam persuasion

Warning: none, except maybe language

Spoilers: up to the Pegasus Project of SG-1 and the first half of SGA's third season

Rating: PG-13 for language

Summary: John and Cam didn't meet for the first time on Atlantis. And Cam is not happy with John. But then, John can be an idiot.

A/N: A sort of prequel to a slash story I've got in mind, the only purpose of this is giving some backstory for the boys. I have no idea why I wrote this, and all mistakes are my own because….well, unbeated.

Word count : ≈ 2000 words

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, everything is owned by people far more imaginative than I am. Don't sue;)

"You stupid fuck." Cameron's voice was calm, despite the fact that he'd just punched him in the face. Somehow, John had forgotten Cam packed quite a punch. A hand on his nose, John signalled with the other hand to the soldiers who hadn't taken well to an outsider hitting their commander as soon as he'd stepped foot out of the Odyssey.

"Good to see you too Shaft." He raised an eyebrow, one eye on Cam, and the other on the soldiers who, although they hadn't come closer were eyeing Mitchell as though he was a Wraith, or a Genii. "I see you've mellowed. Must be that crash, probably scrambled what's left of your brain."

"John." Elizabeth's voice carried the slight hint of the panic she was obviously feeling at the thought of her military commander verbally aggressing the SGC's golden boy and leader of SG-1.

All trace of John's usually laid back attitude was gone, replaced by stone cold calm. Green met blue as the two men stared each other down until Cam finally took a step forward. John broke into a large grin as he grabbed the other man and pulled him into a hug. Cam shook his head, laughing. "It's good to see you too Shep."

"You two know each other?" Sam asked, clearly puzzled by the display.

"Since the academy. My boy here is the second best pilot I know, after me of course." John said, finally taking a step back.

"Then why the theatrics?" This time, it was Elizabeth who asked the question.

"I should have known this might happen. See, Mitchell here isn't exactly the forgiving type, and I'd forgotten that I'd pissed him off the last time we talked."

"What he means is that he's an idiot and he deserved that punch." Cam's tone was deceptively easy, and John winced. Shit, it looked like there might be more bruises in his near future.

"Don't we have a meeting to get to?" John's proposition was accepted as what it was, and the looks he received from Cam and Elizabeth made him sigh. Yeah, looked like the day would be a long one. Maybe the fact that he'd proposed a meeting, when he wasn't exactly known for attending any had been a mistake.

"Yes, yes, the SGC was adamant you get started as soon as possible. Why don't you all follow me? John, can you get Rodney to join us?" John had a second to be thankful for Elizabeth's professionalism before he caught Cam's stare. This time, he didn't bother to hide the sigh.

**

Hours later, John stood leaning on the balcony nearest his quarters when he heard the door slide open behind him.

"Figured you'd find me before leaving."

"Well, as in a hurry as we are, Emerson figured the crew deserved a few more hours of rest before we head back." Cam's voice was almost too neutral, and John winced. He didn't need Rodney's brain to know the other pilot wasn't happy.

"That bad?" he said.

Cam didn't have to ask. Both men knew why Cam had punched John, and there wasn't any doubt as to why he'd seek John out.

"I meant what I said Sheppard, you really are a stupid fuck."

"That's nothing new. You and I both know I've always been an idiot."

"Stop that, I'm serious here John. That stunt you pulled was even more idiotic than your usual shit."

John snorted. "Believe me, I know, I got court-martial out of it, remember?"

"Asshole, you know that's not what I meant. You did what you had to do in Afghanistan. It's what came after that I have issues with. You took it lying down. You just begged for Antarctica."

"I didn't have a choice Cam; it was either that or stop flying. Do you really think someone with my history could have gotten a job flying commercial? I'm a pilot Cam, just like you, if I can't fly, I can't breathe. And Antarctica wasn't so bad. Real quiet, no one trying to shoot you down." His back still to Cam, he hoped the other pilot wouldn't see the defeat in his eyes. Nothing of what had happened had been easy, and even the intervening years hadn't softened the events.

"I know how it feels to lose your wings John, hell, not so long ago; no one believed I would walk again. But remember what you told me? To never give up, because the sky was worth anything? No, the problem I have is that suddenly, you stopped calling anyone. You never even bothered to call once you knew I was probably going to walk again. I heard about what happened almost six months later. No one knew what had happened to you, except that you'd gotten shipped out to the middle of nowhere. Imagine how I felt when I learned that you'd been out of contact for over a year, that no one had heard a peep from you; to finally learn, two years later that you were in another galaxy?" Cam was slowly losing his calm. "Knowing you, you could have died and no one would have known. Shit John, you really are an idiot."

"I always checked to know how you were doing but do you really think I wanted to drag anyone else in my mess? You're the golden boy, the precious perfect little soldier, imagine being seen with the screw up of the Air Force. It wouldn't have looked good, and you already had more than enough problems without adding my shit to it. Anyway, what could you have done?" John was working hard at not letting his bitterness show, but knowing how well Cam knew him, he had no doubt that the other soldier knew.

"I could have helped, this golden boy was a hero if you remember, I might have been able to use my contacts to get you something other than the end of the world."

"And ruined your own career? "

"Friendship is worth a hell of a lot in my book, and you know it. You're one of the best man I know, and I might have been able to get you something with the SGC, after all, I did help save their collective asses. General O'Neil likes me, and he's not exactly the poster boy for the perfect record."

"Me? With the SGC? I wanted to keep flying Cam, and the end of the world is not a bad place to do it. Kind of relaxing even."

"You're saying you would have turned down a chance to be a space explorer? Somehow I doubt that, after all, look where we are." Cam was clearly doubtful.

"Cam, you asked for SG-1. You knew you wanted it. As soon as you got cleared for duty, you were reporting to the mountain. Me? The only reason I'm not still freezing my ass is because I just happened to sit where I shouldn't have, and that chair lit up for me. This job, this city, hell, this galaxy? I never asked for it, I never wanted to play the hero and save whole planets. Hell, I didn't exactly volunteered for this gig either. O'Neil might be laid back, but he's still a General. So here I am, and I know why I'm still here, and believe me, it's not because I'm doing a good job. Without Elizabeth, I'd be back on Earth freezing my ass again."

"You martyr. Do you know what I see here? Since I stepped foot in your city, I've seen the way your marines are looking at you. They trust you to lead them. They trust that you'll do every thing you can to keep them alive, even if it means risking your own skin. The kind of loyalty I've seen today? That's a sign of a job well done. "

This time, the laughter was clearly sarcastic.

"A job well done? Oh yeah, I'm real good. I killed my commanding officer hours into this gig; I keep getting my people killed, and let's see, yeah, I'm the guy who woke the Wraith up. So yeah, I'm doing real good Cam."

"I never said you're perfect, but how many more people would be dead if you weren't here?" Gone was the anger Cam had been feeling since he'd seen John's name listed on the Atlantis' roster. But the sick feeling that was replacing it, the knowledge that nothing was worst on his friend's psyche than losing people, something he'd known since their first mission, but had somehow forgotten was worse.

"Remember back during training? You were the one who was deemed most likely to be promoted general and I was the most likely to screw up? Well, looks like we were right." The calm acceptance in John's voice did more to worry Cam than the words ever could.

"John…..shit man, what happened to you?"

John lifted a hand and mussed hair that was already dishevelled. "Nothing, forget I said anything. Hey, I heard you took out an Ori ship _and_ a hive? How's that for luck."

Cam took a step forward. "Look at me Shep. You're the best pilot I know, and one of the best CO there is. Your men always know that you'd never ask them to do something you're not willing to do, and they know you'd easily sacrifice yourself for any one of them. Losing men, I know how it feels John, believe me, but it's part of the job. If you can't handle it, maybe you should have gotten out after Afghanistan." As callous as the words were, Cam was hoping to shake John up.

"Drop it Cam. Really, drop it."

Cam sighed. He recognized that tone. It was the one side of John that few people got to see, his serious side, the part of him who was far from the carefree guy he usually showed everybody. Underneath his façade of laziness and humour, John could prove to be quite hard headed and more often than not, Cam tended to forget it. As he tended to forget that John had more than his share of self-worth issues. For as arrogant a bastard as he could be, no one could be as hard on John then he was himself. Except maybe John's father, but that man was better ignored.

The silence stretched for long minutes before John spoke again. "You better go catch a few hours before the Odyssey leaves again."

Cam snorted. "You're really happy to see me, aren't you?"

Finally, John looked at him. "Yeah, I am. But from what I hear, things aren't all sunshine and roses back on Earth, so you should get all the sleep you can."

"Yeah, I know, you're right." Cam made his way to the door, but turned around just before walking back inside. "You really are full of shit Sheppard, because really? I don't remember ever seeing you as content as you are now, not even the first time you got into a 'copter. This place? It suits you. Why don't you stop being an idiot, and send an email once in a while."

By the time John opened his mouth to answer, Cam was gone.


End file.
